6/4-6/5/10

Where do I start....
Yesterday I woke up at 6am natrually. I only got about 2-3 hours of sleep that night. I got pretty lost when the bus dropped me off downtown in the Cultural district. That day I decided to come back to my staff member's guest room for the weekend. Theres just so much on my mind...I can't stand to be alone for a whole weekend.
So here I am. On Saturday. And honestly...there is a lot more on my mind than just living at the Project. I feel awful. Just miserable. I can safely say I haven't felt like this in an extremely long time. I just feel like quitting everything. EVERYTHING. I'm done. I don't want to live this life anymore. I have great friends, but there are some things that are just making me hate every aspect of my life right now, no matter how good things can be at the moment. It sounds wrong, but I can't change how I feel about somethings.
Sometimes I catch myself crying out of nowhere...for no reason.
I try to talk about this to some people, including my own mother. No one seems to understand or are able to help. I'm not happy right now. I'm trying to forget some things, to make me happy. It Just Doesn't Work. I'll give this a week or more and see if anything miraculous may happen. If not.....I'm not sure what to do. I would hate to quit this program, because I know some people would Kill to be part of this. If, hypothetically, my program ended this weekend, I would not go back home. I would not stay here in Pittsburgh. I don't know where exactly I would go...or what exactly I would do. I have friends here, but I can't explain how wretched I feel.
I have nothing else to say...