3/28/11

"But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also" Matthew 5:39

Today I had to break up a fight. I really hate doing this. As I told them to line up outside, one kid (we'll name him A) was pushing another kid (he shall be named Z). It's nothing new, so I said "stop.." and before I could muster out "..you fools!", they were already striking each other. Immediately, a teacher's aid got ahold of Z and I sprinted to get ahold of A. Another kid, M, was spewing fuel on the fire by calling both A and Z names...I'm pretty sure it was just fun. I mean, if you were 10 and saw a fire, wouldn't it be a little fun to add some gasoline to it?

Anyway, we managed to isolate the two (no easy task by any means) "A" and I had a little chat. I wanted to ask him how he developed so much anger and became so hostile within one simple fight from pushing. There had to be something underneath it. Something has been brushed under the rug too much....and it's beginning to show. Understandably, he refused to share any information with me. After all, I'm not his real teacher anyway. After some probing questions, he told me the more fights he gets in the more angry he gets. He also wanted to tell me that "you win some, you lose some". Really? This can't be the attitude that is being transferred on to the youth. But it is. I asked him where he heard that from and somewhat surprisingly he said his mom. He said that he can't lose any more battles... or he "won't be king."

I don't know his whole story, but I do know enough to know that there is little fatherness in the home and all uncles are in jail. This kid was just suspended from school last week for fighting and now is getting suspended from this program for fighting. There obviously is no initiative at home to fix this behavior...in fact, I will go far enough to say that the home environment fosters the behavior. The school has no interest to find the root of the problems. Why would they...they have hundreds of other students to deal with. Someone needs to invest in this child. Yes, he started a fight today. But what if no one shows him someone cares. When will the next fight occur? When will he finally just lose it because no one was there to listen to him and do something much worse than fighting someone? I can't even count the number of times this kid said "I'm going to kill him" with so....so....so much passion behind his voice. I tried to look him in the eyes, but I couldn't see him. I only saw the eyes of someone who has taken over this child. It wasn't the eyes of the "A" that I know. Something has swallowed up this kid when he gets angry. It's not normal. So if not me, who will take interest in him? Who will invest in this kid when everyone else punishes him and puts him to the side, to deal with the next kid? I just don't know what to do. I want to connect with him and show him the glory of God and see if he has ever picked up a bible.

Many people seem to bypass the verse in the beginning because they seem to imply that we are to just allow people to beat the tar out of us and not resist the physical violence and injury that others put upon us. But that's not it! That's the thing. How do I come across this child and teach the words of Jesus Christ when so many people think "turn the other cheek" just means turning your cheek to get beat even more. God does not give us commands that are impossible to obey. It is so incredibly easy for us to think something God says is impossible to obey. I admit, none of us are great followers of His words. He certainly gives us ones that are difficult and challenges us. Yet, He never gives us ones that are impossible.

All too often, as a new born-again Christian, it's hard for me to concentrate on biblical readings in staff meetings. Not because I'm distracted by the guy doing crossword next to me, but because they are so powerful and so much to take in. Key messages are said in carefully scripted phrases that seem flawless. I've learned that in order to understand what God wants of us, it is important to catch key details. Anytime the Bible gives us a particularly evocative detail about something, we need to pay particular attention. Something, I am still learning...yes, I do mean paying attention. Ever asked me to tell a story, and then you interrupted me, and said "ok, sorry, go on." No...I can't go on...I don't know where I left off....all I know is that you started talking about your mom calling and then OH!!! Ok now I remember.

I'm going to be a great social worker. :/

Anyway, back to my point, there is a vivid key detail in the beginning verse from Matthew that certainly speaks some volume. Jesus said, if someone "strikes you on the right cheek" then you are to turn your face to him in such a way as to present your left cheek. The implication being that he may hit you again. So I had to ask myself..."why the right cheek? Why not the left?"

Picture someone getting hit on the right cheek. What is the most likely way for that to happen? Think....are most people right handed or left handed? Right, Right (:p). Since most people are right handed and would hit someone with their right hand, then the only way for them to hit someone on the right cheek is to do it as a backhanded slap. What Jesus is speaking about here is not letting someone pummel you into a pile of broken bones. Rather, He is talking about taking an insult. A backhanded slap is just that---an insult that challenges you to retaliate. Notice---an insult that challenges you to retaliate. It is an attempt to shame you and get you to either back down in utter humiliation or lash out. It is not only a challenge from the striker to see what the response will be, but a challenge to see your faithfulness to God's words. Deep stuff, I know.

Yet, to turn the other cheek is neither humiliating nor retaliation. When I told "A" to just walk away next time, he responded that other kids will call him a "punk" because he walked away instead of fighting and that kids will make fun of him. I want to tell him that it is rather a response of strength that says, "I will not seek revenge because I am stronger than that". I think it also says, "I will not respond in shame because I have dignity in Christ. My dignity is not found in if I can hit you back and hurt you or not. Rather, my dignity is found in Christ and I will respond in just the way He would." Now, I know no kid would ever say this, but this is the idea and mindset I would love for him to have.

Now, I understand that in today's world, there is rarely a "backhanded" slap. That would just be awkward and weird...because no one really does that to someone's cheek.....do they? There are times when people might give you a verbal backhand, haha, or show great disrespect in some way. But, it is those things that get people all worked up and excited. For example...the silly name calling today. Think of how often you see people arguing and fighting because someone "disrespected" them. Today was a prime example. I mean come one....the ONLY rule in Ecology class is Respect. . . We are definitely going to need to study that rule more.

The boys that were fighting today were not just letting out anger. They were looking for dignity. They want an acknowledgement that they are a person of substance and importance. In this case, I think "A" was looking for dominance and superiority. If someone does not give them that respect and feeling they look for, then for some reason they feel violated. "A", in my opinion, was trying to show that he is stronger, better, more significant than "Z", which is not true....all my students are equal.... :/

So, instead of turning the other cheek, you strike back, preferably with even more force! If that is what you need to do to get respect and dignity, you will never have it in sight. And I need to penetrate this through to these kids. I know it's not in my job description, but it is in my job title---KEYS(Knowledge to empower youth to success). I need to empower these youth to a successful life without violence.

Our dignity comes because we are made in the image of God, correct? Our significance comes because we are called by Jesus to be world changers, yes? Our power and strength comes because our bodies are filled with the Holy Spirit who gives us the ability to receive the insults of others and respond with, am I right? This is how Christ tells us he responded to those who hurled insults at Him.

People like Jackie Robinson knew that they would face insult after insult because of color. Those insults were intended to humiliate and incite an even more violent response (backhand slap!). The hope was that such a response would then justify the impression of the black man as uncivilized. But when the response was a quiet dignity that came from within, it changed the world. Racial barriers began to fall and reconciliation started to take place. Hallelujah!

It is no different for Christians. When we respond to insults with the same kind of vindictiveness then we affirm for the world that Christianity is a shame. But...when we respond in quiet dignity, drawing on the power of Christ, we provoke a response of respect and wonder and we compel people to want to learn more about Jesus, get it?!

Turning the other cheek is not impossible. I want to instill this in the children. But...it is difficult. But when we do respond with the gentle dignity of Jesus, then we bring glory to Him.

:)

3/13/11

Belief.

- A state or habit of mind in which trust or confidence is placed in some person or thing.

- Something believed; especially a tenet or body of tenets held by a group.

- Conviction of the truth of some statement or the reality of some being or phenomenon especially when based on examination of evidence

People have several different beliefs. That's what makes diversity. It would be a sad, dull world if we all believed in all the same things. How would we learn from each other? Everyone's peripheral thoughts and ideals would be so narrow and limited that no one would have creativity. The definition of belief was striking to me. "...habit of mind in which trust or confidence is placed in some person or thing". When you ask America what their belief is, what do they tell you? "Oh, I'm Christian". Okay....but what is your belief? "Oh, well, I'm protestant". Typical response, yes? When we ask people what their belief is, naturally we tell them the one thing we believe in that is most important to them---their religion. Not who they believe in, but rather...what they believe in. If you walk dahntahn and ask someone what their belief is they are not going to say "God"....or I wouldn't think they would. Chances are they will say "My belief? I believe God created [insert biblical verses] and that He shall rise again and [insert more biblical verses] and that one day we will all be [insert inspirational biblical verse]. That's my belief" Okay....so maybe not that extreme. But point being, especially in America, our substance of belief has come to what we think is the single most important object that we have come to "believe" is what shapes us. And for many, it is our religion. Or is it God? Or is our spirituality? [GREAT segue coming up!]

ONE: Per earlier discussion, beliefs are meant to challenge one another. Thus...I don't care if you disagree with any of these points. In fact... I wish some of you will disagree! (hence the whole point of the prompting picture).

So, controversial belief numero uno is.... Religion is not Spirituality; Spirituality is not Religion. A peculiar fact is that we don't see this whole notion of "spirituality" outside of America. Why are people in Europe and other countries religious or irreligious and yet Americans have this self-developed third category called "spiritual"? Are Americans special? Or is it rather that distinction is really just a product of American culture?

Why, of course! The term itself came to be used in the 60s when there were widespread revolts against every form of organized authority (surprise surprise) including "organized religion". Every establishment and system of authority was thought to be corrupt and evil, including those which were religious. Ah, but of course, Americans weren't prepared to abandon religion entirely (would it really be America if we gave up so easily). So, hence the creation of a new category which was still religious, but no longer included the same traditional authority or evil supremacy---Spirituality.

Many people can surely be spiritual and not have any religious affiliations. Well...take me for example! Spiritual? Yes. Religious? Ehhh....uh....errrrr.......not really. I don't really affiliate myself to one organized religion. I don't feel I need to. I am spiritual and may believe in some of the core values that a "religious" person may believe. I still have a belief. I have a belief that God is our savior--the same belief a protestant, baptist, catholic, etc. believe. Sure, religious people can be spiritual...but I've seen many people be "religious" and not actually spiritual. To fathom the depths of the Scriptures of the various religions across the world, one would need to dive deep into the pearls of wisdom contained in the various sacred Scriptures of the world. Spirituality is, in my opinion of course, oblivious of a religion. In terms of spirituality, one needs not to go to a mosque, temple or a church in search of God. I can stay home on Sunday and still find God in my life. It is contemplation and contemplation only which shall lead someone to the Almighty God... Not what organized religion tells you to do to find Him. I believe spirituality and religion and separate, and that one can live without religion but not without spirituality. Spirituality forms the central core of every living being. It is the spirit within every human being that we exist as physical form on this planet (yes, even that douche that you think doesn't have a soul!). We may or may not indulge ourselves in understanding religion or spirituality, but inherently every living person pursues some kind of spirituality in every manifestation they desire. Spirituality is a fundamental of life which cannot be ignored. Every soul has spirit. I'm not talking no cheerleader, loud, obnoxious spirit, but the very spirit that is dormant in ourselves. It's there....and its not religion. Even religious people have spirit...but to mix the two and call them one is just foolish, yo.

TWO: Being gay is not a choice. I don't care what you think. I've said it before, and I'll say it again.... If I had the choice to live a straight life versus a gay life....what do you think any normal person would choose? Would any person, religious or not, really pick of lifestyle full of ridicule, stereotypes, and negative stigma?

So a guy has a substantial amount of money (point being, money isn't an object) and is looking to buy a car. He has the choice to buy a nice looking new, modern, sporty, solid car....or a very different looking car that a majority of society would deem unnatural or too different. Surely, he would get many weird looks if he chose that second car. Perhaps even given stereotypes if he picked that car. He knows he could choose the first nice-looking car and fit in with the rest of America. That would be an easy choice. But why on earth would he choose the second car that would perhaps make life harder on him purely based on society's reaction to the car?

Well...why would I choose this lifestyle when, if I did in fact have a choice, could choose a straight lifestyle where I could go down the street holding hands with a women and not get any different looks or remarks about it. Why would I choose a life where I can't even walk down the street too close or god-forbid holding hands with another guy and get a negative feedback from society.

I've told people this before, and again, I will say it for the purpose of this message: I sometimes wished I was dead instead of having to life this gay lifestyle forever. Don't you go calling no suicide hotline, that was in the past. In all seriousness, I can't stress enough of the frustration of the notions regarding choosing this lifestyle. Don't even get me started on "just praying about it". No...I'm going to stop there before I go on a long...long tangent. Honestly, however, I did wish a lot that I would just be stroked dead instead of living this socially unacceptable lifestyle. This isn't just something I can choose and if I don't like it I can return it, or try something else. There is no receipt for being gay--no exchanges, no returns.

The definition of belief stating "Conviction of the truth of some statement . . . especially when based on examination of evidence" Well...I wasn't going to go there, but if I must. To all who have held us up against the wall telling us it's not how we were born and God wouldn't make mistakes like us... tell me what the genetic leads scientists are finding are all about. It is difficult to make this claim with research being in its infancy stages, but it is definitely a start in the conversation about the "gay gene". Whether you believe this gay gene or not, it is definitely something is gaining attention, and I do hope that it will prevail and prove once and for all that people don't just choose a lifestyle of mockery, pillory, bashing, stigmas, and eternal damnation. We just don't. What I would give to have a normal lifestyle and to have a normal family where other families wouldn't look at my family as different....and where my children won't have to worry about what their friends would think about them having two dads. I would never intentionally make my child go through a life of fear from what his peers may think of his family. How could I live knowing my child is too scared to bring anyone over because he doesn't know what to say when they ask where his mom is. In fact...this is why I struggle to reason having children. But...that is far into the future and a whole new discussion.

I'll close with this: I'm sick and tired of people holding their beliefs too close to their heart (and minds) to the point of being so totally oblivious to other beliefs. There is no ultimate supreme belief than another. Different beliefs are what makes us different from one another and makes us think outside of our own perspectives that we've been shaped to think as. I'm open to all discussion on different beliefs, but when it comes to criticizing beliefs rather than intelligently arguing on them, it becomes risible and suddenly not worth the effort to get into. Take these words as you wish, but remember that your beliefs can be far different than mine...but guess what, that's okay. A good listener tries to understand what the other person is saying. In the end, he may disagree sharply, but because he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with. I believe attempting to fathom all of the different beliefs is part of reconciliation of knowing our differences. In fact, I'd go as far as to say the very purpose of existence is to reconcile the strong opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us. New opinions are always suspected, and usually opposed, without any other reason but because they are not already common. Which is okay! People don't understand that new opinions are controversial and worth the discussion, because they are not common. Lastly, if a man isn't willing to take some risk for his opinions, either his opinions are no good.....or he's no good.