Relaxing? Fair.
Enjoyable? Sure.
Dysfunctional? Completely.
I always tell people every time I visit home something is bound to happen to support my notion of having a quite (more than habitual) dysfunctional family. I'm not sure if it's just me finally getting fatigued of always coming home to dysfunction and stress, but whatever it is, I'm getting quite tired of it. I know I know, it's my family, I should just love them. I do, I do. But, there's gotta be some point of reconciliation to a normal family, right? Perhaps not, perhaps its just wishful thinking. Nevertheless, if God has taught me anything, it's to just love the family I am blessed with and he will not face me with anything I cannot endure.
So, talks about christmas gifts have been overly, unnecessarily controversial this year. For the sake of trying to sustain as little additional drama as possible, I won't get into the details. But, generally speaking, there was .....questionable intentions on some gifts that were being offered to me this year. If yinz want to know one thing about me, you should (already) know that I stand up for what I am thinking and I don't let things just pass by me. If I have a provoking thought, I'm going to act on it. Why do yinz suppose I ended up in Pittsburgh? Because I wanted to do something else in the summer and when I got a call from Pittsburgh I decided.... why not? I want to do it, so... I packed my stuff, got rid of my apartment, rented a storage facility, and bought a plane ticket. Now, going back to the original subject of matter here, I stood up for my questioning and thoughts and emotions that lie on these intentions. Whether or not it was justifiable is up to them. I'm not going to apologize for being who I am and fighting for what my thoughts are.
Through these ...well, I wouldn't call them arguments per say, but rather.... discussions with "very strong convictions in which strife was almost inevitable and in which very silly names were thrown here and there :)", I had the opportunity to openly share my values on christmas with family. That is, I believe previous christmases were fair to be called materialistic. Call me crazy, but I really didn't "light up" because I got more than enough of things to take back home that day. I have seen much too many kids who have touched my life in some way or another who probably won't get half of what I'll get this year. And the heroic part is, some of them don't mind and are just as happy with getting little to nothing, if anything. I'm not sure how they do it, and to be in that state of mind at such a young age just puts me in complete awe. I mean, my mother had me and my brother put together my niece's barbie mustang powerwheel (which took 2 hours for assembly and proper stickers placement) in which she will open along with a dozen or two other gifts just from our family alone. At 4 years old, I would be in heaven.
Now, I can honestly and contently say that I could be happy if I didn't get anything. Now, I know that will not happen, because my family is so focused on the aspect of giving and getting, rather than being with family. Cliche, I know. But honestly, I'm sure I said it in one of my facebook statuses (mind you, from the 1st day home) as "Let's grow up and be appreciative of who we are around with on that day, instead of worrying how much we 'have to spend' on each other. Get me nothing! I'll be happier than you will be." Some may not believe me for my words, but again, I really can't say I care because this is what I think and perhaps the reason some may not believe me is because it seems these days it's such a rarity that anyone feels this way anymore.
Well, officially it is christmas eve. The "festivities" begin tomorrow here in the martin household. In this cozy house in Holland we will hold 14 friends and family members with 4 hyperactive dogs. Dysfunctionality will have its prime moment to shine then. Truth be told, I'm hoping for a bearable christmas. I have 11 days or so left before I return to the Keystone state, and in the meantime, I am trying to make the best out of all of this. I ask for your prayers of sanity (no, really) to get through everything. For the non-believers, I ask that you simply sympathize for me, though no pity, please.
If this has seemed like a dramatical, extensive rant on normal, run-of-the-mill dysfunction that everyone faces, I (1) apologize for boring you for 5 minutes and (2) hope you realize either your family is not that bad, or that after reading this sad literature, your family is a little worse than you thought. Regardless! Have a wonderful time with your family, friends, and loves ones on this christmas, and may we all embrace the ones we have today, for yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift, and that my friends, is why we call it the present.
The only present I shall ask for this christmas.
