I Think You Should Know...

I hope know you are reading this at some point. And you should know that this is for you. Others will be confused and think I'm writing this for them, or someone else they may know. But this is for you. I don't know what has happened in the past, and I'm well aware of the hopelessness I portray in this blog. I don't really care. I don't care if nothing more develops from us than our current status. But if I don't say this, then how will I ensure that someone else makes sure you know this?

This is for you.

I know you know life is not easy. I know life is not easy. Every day is so unique and unpredictable. You wake up and as much as you plan, you never know exactly how your day will turn out. The day is full of unforeseen challenges. Some days it can be difficult to simply lift your feet and roll out of bed in the morning. I know. To face reality and put on that smile. Some days, it takes a lot. But please know that your smile has kept me going on more days than you know, and more than I care to share. Never forget that, even through the toughest times. Know that your smile brightens someones day. I know, I sound crazy. But it is incredible if we just stop for a couple seconds in our busy busy lives and think about what makes us happy. What makes you smile? Who makes you smile? Just picture that for a couple seconds to get through your day. Screw coffee and energy drinks.

So, smile more often. You have so many reasons to. 

You won't always be perfect. Neither will I. Because nobody is perfect, and nobody deserves to be perfect. Nobody is perfect and nobody has it easy. Everybody has challenges and issues to fight through. It's all relative what we perceive as a challenge. You will never know exactly what I'm going through. And that''s okay, I think. Because I will never know exactly what you're going through. I guess we are all fighting out own unique little wars. I can be your supporter if you let me. But I can't fight your battles with you if you don't trust me enough to be on your side. Otherwise, it's you against me.

But, we are fighting through it simultaneously, together. 


Don't change. You have changed a lot, and so have I. You have an amazing personality. You don't take shit from anybody. And I love that. Even when that shit is from me. You are so responsible and individualistic and my wish is that you will hold onto and embrace those qualities. It is just one trait that makes you so appealing. 


Whenever somebody discredits you, and tells you that you can't do something, you prove them wrong. Keep in mind that they are speaking from within the boundaries of their own limitations. I think you know that, though. When someone says you can't, most likely its because their own limitations  have proven that point to themselves in the past. Ignore their words. Don't give in. In this crazy, busy world, that's trying to make you like everyone else, find the courage to keep being your awesome self. I know you can do it.  Too often, people blend in with their peers and lose their self identity. Don't cave in. Be different. Stay different. And when they laugh at you for being different, laugh back at them for being the same. Then keep laughing....because i like your smile :)


Remember...our courage doesn't always roar aloud. I know you know this. You are humble and don't listen for a roar. But sometimes, we all need some kind of feedback from our biggest aspirations to ensure that we did good and encourage us to keep going. Sometimes, it's the quiet voice at the end of the day whispering, "I will try again tomorrow." Tomorrow is always a 2nd chance to make a better today. So stand strong, friend! Things turn out best for people who make the best out of the way things turn out. Optimistic people are fun to hang around with. But know your optimism carries with you and resonates with those who need a little boost of optimism. You are good at sharing that. 


And I am committed to making the best of it along with you. Maybe not now. Maybe not in a couple of years. Maybe not ever in the way I plan. But I know this is part of my life mission.


I just thought you should know.

It's All About Dancing In The Rain

Recently, I've found myself in a kind of.....funk, if you will. School is almost over, and while it is kicking my ass, I'm still "working" a good 40 hours a week (minimum). I've joined two new committees of young professionals, and have found myself gasping for a second to breathe. Monday night I worked on a midterm until 4:30am tuesday, at which point was pointless to sleep and ended up staying up for 41 hours. I mean...I only fell asleep at my computer, at the ReStore, on the way back to work in someone's car, and almost on the way home riding my bike.

Anyway, point is, between the things listed and some other personal things I've been trying to accept and work though, I've been needing to remind myself that if you find yourself stranded in the middle of a thunderstorm....you can either be pissed at mother nature and cuss at the world, or you can accept that things happen, good or bad, and just learn to dance in the rain.

Here are a couple of things I think about when we go through things in life and often start to lose hope that things will get better and that what we are going through right now isn't, indeed, the end of the world.

Adversity makes us strong and wise. Pain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser. Learn to be grateful for your past because it helped shape who you are. You are all probably sick of hearing me stress this point, but it really is the mantra of my life and I stand by it so strongly. Thank the past for a better future. Those things in the past helped you learn to be a better person and help you understand things to happen in your future. So live for today, learn from yesterday, and hope for tomorrow! After all, we all know tomorrow is always a gift. Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, in fact, its about dancing in the rain! (ok...that's the last time I'll say that). 

Happiness is never constant, and it's not supposed to be. You have to fight through some bad days to earn the best days of your life. To believe that you can reach a state of happiness and stay there forever, is like the tide believing she can reach the shoreline and remain there forever...or like a fruit tree believe that if she only holds on tighter, she can keep her fruit from dropping to the ground. Point is, no matter how hard you try...no one is happy forever. I think if we were constantly happy forever, we would never appreciate the genuinely good, happy times in life as much. Happiness, I think, is simply a series of moments that come and go and add sweetness to our lives. That's the beauty of it! So learn to accept this, and the happy moments you will have. Cherish these moments, but don't let it perceive you that life should always be like this.  

Failures are temporary situations that teach us necessary lessons. I think life's best lessons are usually learned at the worst times and from the worst mistakes. So yes, you will fail sometimes. So what. Get knocked down 7 times, get up 8! See, the faster you accept this, the faster you can get on with being brilliant and happy and all that. You'll never be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won't work.... So, doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing at all. So get out there and try, damnit! Either you succeed or you learn a vital lesson..... Win-Win.

Even if you can't see it now, you are making progress. You may not be where you want to be yet, and you may think you'll never get there, but if you think about it, you're no longer where you once were either. If you've at least done something, anything about your current situation, you have good reason to believe that you can trust yourself going forward. Not because you've always made the right choices, but because you survived the bad ones, and taken small steps in the right direction. So, cry for a moment if you have to, and get it out of your system. Crying doesn't indicate that you are weak; after all, since birth, it has always been a sign that you're alive and full of potential. Once you're done, keep going! You're undoubtedly getting closer to where you want to be....and you will make it :)

How you feel when you're stressed is not a true, accurate measure of reality. See, just because you're afraid, doesn't mean  you're in danger. And just because you feel alone, doesn't mean nobody loves you. As Kelly Clarkson would say, just because your alone, doesn't mean you're lonely. Just because you think you might fail, doesn't mean you will. Just because you did fail, doesn't mean you're a failure. Just because you can't see the light, doesn't mean it's not there. Look beyond your doubts and keep searching for the truth. Be aware of your mental self-talk. We all talk silently to ourselves in our heads, but we aren't always conscious of what we're saying or how it's affecting us. The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful. In fact, in social work, we use this model in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). We have the client replace all negative emotions and thoughts with positive ones. They have to say those thoughts over and over to replace those negative thoughts. Sometimes we'll even have them keep a daily journal of those negative and positive thoughts. It's truly an effective method. Listen to your self-talk and replace negative ones with positive ones. The sun is always shining on some part of your life. Sometimes you just have to forget how you feel, remember what you deserve, and keep chugging along.

Remember that you are not what happened to you in the past. No matter how chaotic the past has been, the future is a clean, fresh, wide open slate. You are not your past habits. You are not your past failures. You are not how others have at one time treated you. You are only who you think you are right now in this very moment. You are only what you do right now in this moment. Nothing else. 

Being a "work in progress" is a great state to be in. Stop berating yourself for being a work in progress. Start embracing it! Because being a work in progress doesn't mean you are not good enough today; it simply means you want a better tomorrow, and you wish to love yourself completely, so you can live your life fully to the best it can be. It means you're determined to heal your heart, expand your mind and cultivate the gifts you know you're meant to share. May we all be works in progress forever, and celebrate the fact that we are!!!

Nobody else can do it for you. Keep doing what you know in your heart is right for YOU! Let your dreams be bigger than your fears and your actions louder than your words. Live by choice, not by chance. Make changes, not excuses. Be motivated, not manipulated! Work to excel, not compete. Choose to listen to your inner voice, not the jumbled opinions of everyone else and society. It's your road, really. And yours alone. Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you. 

Finally, Life is not easy, but it's worth it. If you expect it to be, you will perpetually disappoint yourself. Achieving anything worthwhile in life takes effort, and it takes risk. So start every morning ready to run farther than you did yesterday and fight harder than you ever have before. Really kick life in the ass and run this show. Above all, make sure you properly align your efforts with your goals. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it in the end.