9/9/10

Come Thou fount of every blessing
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace
Streams of mercy never ceasing
Call for songs of loudest praise
Teach me some melodious sonnet
Sung by flaming tongues above
Praise the mount I'm fixed upon it
Mount of Thy unchanging love

Where do I even begin. This song is just a sample of what this week at the CCDA has taught me. It's a symbol of the ray of light that has been shone by the grace of God this week. I know it is none other than Him, and only Him that has made these experiences for me magical. I asked God to really show me what Christian Community Development was about. To be honest, I don't think I got too much out of that particular philanthropy. However, I have been extremely blessed by the wisdom of God's word during this trip that has been shone to me via bible study, worship and praising, meeting and talking to other people, thinking and reflecting and just being here in the presence of thousands of followers of Him. It's funny how a couple months ago, I would have never in my wildest dreams thought that I would be at a CCDA conference, let alone at a faith-based organization. The path that God has let me travel has been extremely rewarding and it's something so much bigger than me, I can't even begin to comprehend. Truly, Lord, I've asked you to "tune my heart to sing thy grace" I have sung your grace this time here in Chicago. I have been able to see what your grace can actually do. "Praise the mount I'm fixed upon it, Mount of thy unchanging love." I have asked the Lord to guide me on this Praise that I am indeed fixed upon. I've been asking that this will continue to be an unchanging love. I've asked him for strength....strength I can't even imagine. Because let's be real-- I've lost my love with God and told myself, and Him, that I would never go back. I had that infamous question of "how could he let such a horrible horrible thing happen to someone?" That's a different story (err...blog).

However I attempt to describe my stay here, it can never serve justice to what it actually is. To have thousands of people in one place, here for the same reason. It's incredible. Everyone here wants to learn more about God's will and how to better service his will. We all want to know how to become better servants of God. When we all come together to praise and worship in one big room, it gives me goosebumps. When we are all there praising, I think that people either leave their problems they are dealing with out the door, or lift their struggles up to the Lord as they embrace the power and energy from everyone else. For me, I don't check out my problems at the door. Rather, I bring them with me wherever I go. True, most of the time they stay dormant. But, when I feel that I am really connecting with God, especially during worship, I offer my struggles to the Lord and just really ask him to accept my struggles and to help me deal with these issues. I lift them up to the Lord. Tomorrow is the last day, and we leave on Saturday. I have met so many people here, and they are all very incredible and inspiring. I have made some great connections for my personal and career lives. There's a great feeling that comes out of meeting a stranger, getting to know them, finding commonalities, and knowing how we can help each other. I've met people in Tennessee, Texas, Washington D.C., and Kentucky. No matter where we come from, we all can help each other in one way or another. We are a learner to one person, and a teacher to another.

Let us never forget the power of the Lord and what his will is. Let us not forget what we as his people can accomplish, and by that goal, let us leave racism, discrimination, and any other negative things we hear about our brothers and sisters, and let us leave that negativity somewhere else. As God's people, we have a mission to carry on his will. That is what we are here for. We can't expect to just be a christian and believe in God, and go to church and expect to walk into Heaven with a wide open gate. What is it to be a Christian? To go to church, read the bible and believe? Um.... No. We have to spread his word to others. We have to carry out his will by working on making the communities more socially just. It's so much more than just believing. I can't wait to see what the end of this conference has in store for me. I feel I am going to go back home with a new, refreshed feeling and vision of why I am here in Pittsburgh at the Pittsburgh Project. This uncharted territory is exciting...and I'm ready.