If you really knew me. . . you would know so much more than you think. You look at people you know, and you say "I know you." But do you? Do we really know them, or do we know of them. Do we know about them? If we really knew someone, would they have to tell us what they were feeling behind their mask, without them saying anything?
Do you know me? There are a very select few who really...i mean really know me. Through the most burdensome times, I've found who is there for me. Who knows me. Can you think of someone who really knows you. I'm not talking about your self-reputed "BFF". Who knows what you are thinking, without seeing your eyes, your mouth, or hearing your voice? Anyone? Truth is, many of us will say "Duh Jeremy, God knows me". Okay, well (1) that's a cheap shot.. I know that. And don't come back to me saying "Well, no one knows me like God does--" Stop. I know this as well. For now, let's leave Him out of this. We know He knows all of our deepest secrets, knows us better than we know ourselves, and knows how we are feeling, even before we know what we are feeling. (2) If you really knew me, you would know how I feel about things as if you were God. Okay, that's a little weird and may not make sense, sooooo I'm saying, if you knew me, you would know me better than I know myself. I can think of one person right now in my life (who's alive) that I have this connection with. My hope and prayer is that yinz all have someone who you can turn to when the world is raining down on you, and they are already behind you when you start to turn around and run away.
We know of people. We know about their lives. We know how they feel.
But do we know what they think behind their facade of what they show on their faces, but hide in their mind? Do we know what they hide inside and forbid to tell anyone, but you still know what they burry deep inside of that place where we suppress our most unwanted thoughts?
I want to take this moment to thank 3 people who have been there and knows me... I mean really knows me. They know what I want to say, when I put my infamous "everything is ok" smile on. They can see right through it, and don't believe it for a half second. One is God, the other one knows who he is and I feel there is no need to exploit his name right now, the other is and has been watching over me with God.
I want to leave with this: My intent of this blog was not to discourage you of your friendships at all. Not at all. I have some amazing friendships, and I wouldn't trade them for the world. Instead, take my words as a reflection instillment. If you really knew me... you would know that I have never forgot some things that I refuse to talk about. You would know that I suppress so many things that I'm halfway stepping over the edge of crying when someone mentions it or it come back to me. You would know that I blame myself for things I shouldn't to this day, that I blame myself for a death I wasn't at. If you really knew me, you would know I am incredibly happy with my life right now even though I wish I could change more about my life than what has changed already in the last 5 months, and you would know I would do anything.... to go back.
I'm not trying to make this deep and depressing at all, haha. Just some really interesting prompting reflection. And remember, "Preconceived notions are the locks on the door to wisdom." God Is Good.
update your blog already.
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