Accountability is all about standards and mistakes. We have to own our choices and mistakes. Most importantly, we have to be willing to take the necessary steps to improve upon them. All of you know that I'm the biggest believer in learning important life lessons from our mistakes and challenges. Either you take accountability for your life, or someone else will. Typically, we let them when we are most vulnerable. Not even obviously vulnerable...but oblivious to ourselves that we are. And when they do, you'll become a slave to their ideas, wishes, and dreams instead of a pioneer of your own.
As cliche as this may sound, you are the only one who can directly control the outcome of your life. I know it sounds like something from a Zen meditation reading, but seriously. We are the only one to decide that. Some might make the argument that someone else upstairs is also involved, but the truth is, our actions decide our outcomes. If I wanted a lot of money and didn't care about anything, I'd go rob a bank. If I wanted to become very successful in a big city, I'd work my way up and do it. Simple theology, really.
No, it's not going to be easy. I never said that. No one ever said that. Every person has a stack of obstacles in front of them. They're dealt with these cards and some of them are pretty crappy. But you have to take full accountability for what you are dealt with and your situation and overcome those obstacles. Because choosing not to, is choosing a lifetime of mere existence.
I feel like by taking full accountability for our lives, we gain much more than the control of what happens. It also becomes natural to feel like you deserve more in life as your self-esteem builds and as you do the right thing more consistently. We realize "oh yeah.... this is what I deserve" and we don't let ourselves settle for less, the more we do that. Taking accountability for our life also means standing up for what we deserve. I've learned not to settle for second best when it comes to a lot of things. I've also learned to let go and accept the things that don't deserve me. A crucial part of setting standards for yourself is holding yourself accountable to the fact that you deserve the best! Don't let others manipulate yourself and fool yourself to think they deserve you if you don't think you deserve them. It all goes back to the whole vulnerability thing and not letting others make you a slave to their ideas.
Bottom line: You will feel better. You'll feel better and more self-esteem when you decide to take accountability for where your life goes and who and what you want to be part of it. Stand up for yourself.
Sometimes the biggest obstacle in the line of our dreams is not others who try to manipulate and challenge us...but its ourselves. Because, it's quite often its you that are standing in your own way, and in the way of your success. It's you that starts to self-sabotage or hold yourself back (in subtle or not so subtle ways) once you are on your way to the success of you dream of. I'm as guilty as anyone on this.
To remove that inner resistance, you have to feel and think that you actually deserve what you want. Going back to the whole "I deserve the best" concept, you may be able to do a little bit about that by affirmations and other positive techniques. It may sound silly but its amazing how much just simple positive words of affirmation can effect the human being. I know my best friend is pretty dependent on this--and its not a bad thing, per say. But saying the little things like "it's okay", "things will work out", and "you deserve this" make all the difference. How do you accept the best for yourself when you can't even tell yourself that? But, the biggest impact by far comes from taking responsibility for yourself and your life.
Now, I know most people think this whole concept I'm ranting about seems a little silly and that everyone innately believes what's best for them. But its the actual action of deciding what's best for you that should eventually become natural. It is often said that your thoughts become your actions. But without taking responsibility for your life, those thoughts often just stay on that mental stage. They don't become translated into action. Taking responsibility for your life is that extra push that makes taking action more of a natural thing. You don't get stuck in just a thinking, thinking, thinking, maybe..., thinking and wishing stage so much. You become proactive and aggressive, instead of being so passive. Because you know what you want and you take responsibility for what you want!
Make the best use of what is in your power. . . and take the rest as it happens.
Taking responsibility for your life is great, but that is also all that you have control over. You can't control how someone reacts to what you say or what you do. It's important to know where your limits are. Otherwise, you'll create a lot of unnecessary suffering for yourself and waste energy and focus by trying to take accountability for what you can't and never really could control. It's good to take note of this before you take action.
Overall, Aim to be the best version of yourself!
Even though it doesn't always work, doing the right thing in every situation is hard to do and also hard to always keep in mind. Especially under pressure or frustration. So don't aim for perfection. We're not trying to be perfect. Just try to be as good of a person as you can right now. And everything else will fall in place. It's all an input/outcome relationship.
When you think about why its important to take accountability for yourself, I think it's important to not rationalize to yourself that you didn't really have to take responsibility in various situations. That doesn't mean that I beat myself up endlessly about it (which I need to work on). I just observe that I have hurt myself and that's my fault. Because (say it with me now...) I have to take (say it with me....) "responsibility for my own actions". Good. Now you're getting it. And this doesn't feel good, I know. But, you become less prone to repeat the same mistake.
Lastly. . .
"Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody expects of you. . .
Never excuse yourself."
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